Aaaand Breathe...

Oh Finally! Here it is.. the night I have been waiting for! Finally a moment to think... about stuff other than projects, papers and CAD drawings! lol. I am DONE! DONE DONE DONE DONE!!!! WHOO HOO! I have successfully completed my AA in Interior Design as of 3:57 pm today! When I think about what this means to me I just want to cry. Ok, honestly, I realize that it's only an Associates degree and that means I'm still not even half way to my academic goal... but this means so much more to me because....

I am accomplished. I am the first of my family to graduate... I am the first in my family to graduate from college even if it is just an Associates degree from a community college. WHO CARES? I am very proud of myself and so proud in fact that I try not to share with others how excited I am so that it won't appear that I am acting boastful or conceited.

I am in aww. In shock as a matter of fact because I tried to once convince a friend ( years a go) that college just isn't for some people... people like me. HA! It is! Before I took college seriously, I would look at my paycheck that think that I could do it without a college degree. Sure I could get a promotion, a bonus, a raise, but not something so priceless... you can lose a job any day.. but never your education.

I am blessed. I thank God for having such an amazing love for Kahlai and I. You are such a gracious God for giving me what it takes to endure the stresses I have faced over these past 4 years... especially in this past semester. I know that it is God who gives me the strength to withstand serious sleep deprivation, full time status in school.... and always .... the many tests dished out daily by my three year old. lol.

I am grateful. Grateful to have such an amazing support system in my friends and family. I have met so many wonderful people over this year and I just want to say thank you to all of you! All of your words of encouragement have meant so much and honestly kept me going through some pretty rough days... thank you.

I am forgiving. As hard as it is for me to write this right now, I am forgiving to someone who has made things more difficult than they need be. I am forgiving to him because it is what God wants for me to do. In forgiving him, for myself, I know that I can be forgiven and forgive myself for the things that I need forgiveness for.

Today I am relieved. I am ready to be able to spend some much needed quality time with my son who has needed it for a while now. Between preparing court documents, trying to find fast funds to pay my daycare lady, my attorney or doing homework, we don't get to do the things we used to. I can't wait... I miss my special time with my boy and I know he has missed that time with mommy too. I love him soooo much and I am grateful to have the time to spend with him.

I miss Kerron. I feel so bad that his dad won't let me talk to him. It's wrong to punish us both. I can't imagine what he must be feeling and I just miss having happy time with him. I haven't had as much time as I would like to be able to spend with him this semester, but if his mom will allow, I would love to pick him up for a day and catch a show... or just grab some lunch and... laugh... belly laughs like before the madness started... big smiles and kisses on the forehead.. Miss you Keronji.

Whew!

So ... on another note....
(Sigh)

The laundry pile is so large that we could rent a lift and hit the slopes but I'm tired. I just want to wake up in the morning, refreshed and ready to have a fun day with my baby boy.... while he still thinks it's cool to play with mom!

Night~